The Distinctions

Continuing my review of Gretchen Rubin's Better Than Before, it isn't only important to understand your tendency - how you deal with expectations in general - but also clearly define some distinctions than can help you make wiser decisions when it comes down to what, exactly, your new goals and habits should realistically be.

For interest's sake then, here's where I fall out according to some of Rubin's distinctions:

Lark or Owl

Definitely (and unfortunately, what with having an eight-month-old) an owl.  Mornings have always been rough for me and I generally feel like I only begin to be mentally productive around 10:30 am, though I may have been awake for hours beforehand.  Also, I can easily stay up late, which makes some things difficult since, as an introvert, I often crave "alone time" and can only really find it at night, sometimes meaning that I sacrifice the only sleep I can really get for a few hours of mindless screen time that I later regret...for so many reasons.

My takeaway here is that it would be best for me to not try and make goals that require early mornings, as virtuous as they may sound.  Past experience (that 6:30am yoga class...) has taught me that I just end up wanting to cry.  I also need to be careful about over-promising in my evening hours too, however, since it would be very easy for me to breeze through a sane bedtime in the name of a goal.

Marathoner, Sprinter, or Procrastinator

I'm a sprinter.  When I was in graduate school, I finally came to terms with the fact that waiting until the "pressure was on" was simply my way of working effectively.  If I tried to do work on projects ahead of time, I'd feel distracted and uninspired.  However, as my assignments got more intense and involved, being a sprinter became more and more difficult since I only like to do projects if I can do them all at once.  When you have a 50 page paper to write...it gets to be more frustrating and can border on the suicidal.

Takeaway:  My goals may need to have some kind of deadline pressure built in to them if they require active work.  Something that needs to be done before 3pm every day, for example.  I'd still complete a daily task even after 3pm, but having a time deadline would make me focus much more efficiently on the task than not having one.

Underbuyer or Overbuyer

Most definitely an underbuyer.  I hate "shopping" - rather I tend to have a very specific purchase goal and the method is "get in, get out" as quickly and painlessly as possible.  I tend to wear shoes and clothes into the ground and only buy something unless I absolutely need it - usually because I don't have any others!  Frankly, overbuyers scare and simultaneously fascinate me.

Takeaway:  No goals that make me acquire pointless "stuff" - gross.

Simplicity or Abundance

Simplicity!  I love throwing stuff out, clearing off surfaces, hanging a single frame on one big wall... Clean lines, white backgrounds, ways to hide things like tv screens or computers...   Thrift stores, photo collages, collections of knick-knacks, shelves full of plastic plants "just to fill in the space" - all these things are mysterious and stressful to me.

Takeaway: Again, no acquisition of pointless things!  Nothing overly complicated, nothing that creates a product I see no immediate use for. 

Finisher or Opener

I'm an opener.  I love opening boxes, starting new projects (case in point: four personal blogs), trying that new flavor of whatever...  But often I don't follow through to the end.  For example, I loved trying advanced paint-by-numbers for fun, but didn't finish it even though I only had a few more polygons to fill.  Instead of washing out plastic containers with old food in them, I'd much rather just throw the entire thing out.  I don't feel a drive to finish everything on my plate - in fact I often, unconsciously, just leave one bite left in the corner.

Takeaway: Try to make each goal, especially the reoccurring ones, feel "new" every time I try them - some small difference, some kind of variety built in.  

Familiarity-lover or Novelty-lover

I'm a novelty-lover.  I hate watching movies I've already seen and the thought of reading a book I've already read - even if I can't remember much about it - just sounds awful to me!  I love travel and trying new and strange foods wherever we go.  I find living in a place for longer than three years starts to feel like stagnation.  I'd rather go somewhere I've never been before and risk not having a good time than going back to a place I know is amazing.

Takeaway:  Variety. variety!  Keep things changeable that could start to feel stale even after only one month.  Instead of "Go to the park every morning" make it "Go find a new park every day!"

Promotion- or Prevention-focused

I feel like this is a nice way of saying optimist or pessimist.  From Rubin's description, I think I tend slightly more towards being prevention-focused (framing things in the negative: "I don't eat ice cream so I don't get fat") rather than promotion ("I don't eat ice cream so I can have a healthy body.")  But I also do my fair share of promoting - I would guess because I serve as a foil a lot of the time to Paul, who is definitely a more committed prevention-focuser.

Takeaway: Go with the way I think.  Don't dress goals up in a promotion or prevention-bow if that just doesn't inspire me.  Really introspect about how I describe each goal to myself.

Small Steps or Big Steps

I'm not sure about this one...though I'd probably say I'm more about small steps?  It's hard for me, for example, to go "cold turkey" on anything, even though those times I tend to have the most successful results if I follow through.  Maybe it's telling though that this blog is a mix:  small steps because each month's theme only requires just that - one month - but big steps because it's committing to a long-term project.  Hmmm...  Let's say the jury is still out on this one.  Maybe I'll revisit it later when I figure it out.

Takeaway:  This project's format is tailor made for this distinction of mine!